Autism and Fetish
If sexuality is a hard topic to discuss for many people, the topic of sexuality among people with disabilities is even harder to talk about. People with disabilities are somehow considered incomplete people, and one of the parts of them that is missing is their sexuality. If sexuality is a hard topic to discuss, for many people the topic of fetishes is even harder for to talk about. Predictably, any discussion of people with disabilities having any interest in fetishes goes almost completely unimagined.
One of the more popular uses of Second Life is for people of all physical abilities and varied sexual interests to be able express themselves sexually. In Second Life there are virtual sex clubs where heterosexual and homosexual couples can sit their avatars on scripted pose-balls to participate in every imaginable sexual activity, and some activities that are not even possible in real life. Virtual sex is the ultimate form of safe sex in terms of physical separation.
Dating is popular in Second Life and there are dance clubs and even dating services to help a person find a partner. What is important to remember is that behind every avatar is a real person who spends real time in Second Life and has real feelings. Because of the physical detachment of a virtual world it is easy to become emotionally hurt in Second Life when a person blocks you, or simply doesn’t log on any more. There is a very funny video that discusses this real problem of virtual dating by The Guild called, “Do you want to Date my Avatar” which can be seen on YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=urNyg1ftMIU
I am an adult on the autism spectrum who often chooses to express my sexuality in terms of Dominance and submission (D/s). For me, D/s relationships are more highly ritualized than other intimate relationships, and so are therefore easier for me to understand how to behave. If one person is a Dominant in a relationship they are the one structuring the time of how the couple will practice their sexuality. If a person is submissive they follow instructions as to how to be sexual. For me it is easier to understand what to do in a relationship when both parties are involved in a consensual power-exchange, either if I am Dominant or I am submissive. It is sexier for me if I there isn’t also the ambiguity of my trying to figure out all of the unspoken rules of a relationship at the same time.